Cool Guy
The only thing necessary for evil to truimph is for good men to do nothing. Edmund Burke said that, and I think he knows a little more about evil than you do, pal, because he invented it. Dumb anglo.. what was I talking about? Oh yeah, Cool Guy. Cool Guy is the most evil fucker in the world still alive. In all ways that Cool Dude is epic and good and virtuous and has a big pennis, Cool Guy is the opposite. Biography Early Life Cool Guy was born in a shithole swamp in the worst city in the entire world, Cleveland, Ohio. Its a miracle this dumb motherfucker survived his birth. If I were there, motherfucker wouldn't have lasted one minute. Put him and I in a cell and he's dead in 10 fucking seconds, promise. God I hate this bitch. Fucking just look at him with those dumbass eyebrows and stupid fucking turtleneck black shirt. You can tell by looking at him that he gets absolutely NO pussy. Even if he was gay he still wouldn't get any. Fucking bitch I hate him so fucking much. The Vietnam War This motherfucker, this dumb bitch, he dodges the draft for a year before his ass is hauled off to Saigon to meet up and join with my unit. This fucker sees me there and the first chance he gets, he runs off into the jungle and joins the fucking Viet Cong. Not only does he hate me, he hates AMERICA. Big fucking wonder that this fucker isn't dead yet. Even after me and the boys napalmed this motherfucker, he's still fucking kicking it. Lounging around in that stupid pool with his stupid grandkids. I hope you drown motherfucker. Your days are numbered I fucking promise you that. I will swipe the pool noodle from your dumbass fucking descendant and I will crack your skull clean open with the force of fucking Paul motherfucking Bunyan you absolute son of a bitch. After Vietnam This fucker somehow avoids treason charges due to the Watergate Scandal. America fucking failed me this time. Because the justice system didn't provide any justice, I had to take the laws in my own hands. Now, dueling isn't necessarily "illegal" but my lawyer says that you shouldn't do it at home, kids. Anyways, I challenge this son of a whore to a duel, and the dumbass accepts. I fucking BLASTED that dumb motherfucker straight in the chest, but I missed his heart by an inch. I shouldn't've had a pre-duel celebratory drink... or 5. Cool Guy, being the limp-wristed bitch he is, just grazes* me. I lived, bitch. So did he but I'm more important because this is MY wiki. Not the Cool Guy Lore Wiki. It's mine. That dumb motherfucker isn't getting a single piece of my empire. He can die in his $500,000 hole he fucking lives in. Death Hasn't happened yet. This lucky bastard has escaped my hands for too fucking long. Something will change. Trivia * He is a son of a bitch * I hate him * He stole my fucking name (I don't care if he was born first) * Ohio sucks * Go Blue * He can play Tennis better than me but.... gay * He has a wife and kids. What fucking woman can love him? Just in it for the money, I guess. * He has grandkids, too. I don't. *Cool Guy hit Cool Dude in the throat, resulting in his famous "wheezy" laugh. It isn't known if this was intentional or not. Category:Bastards Category:Evil Category:Bad Category:Fuck you Category:I hate you bitch Category:Armenian Genocide Perpetrators Category:Holocaust Deniers Category:People who are going to die Category:Family Category:Characters Who are Going to Hell